i never thought i'd be the type never thought i'd be the type to fall in love i never thought it would be you never thought it would be you i fall in love with but there's something riding in my bones some kind of magnetic attraction (in all those teen movies the concept seemed so distant it didn't cross my mind that maybe it was real) and if i'm not careful if i'm not careful i could tear myself apart

i wanna tell you but i don't know what you like and there's a miniature devil in the back of my head waiting to mess up my lines i wanna take you on a date and have a nice time standing in the hallway with people shadows passin' i live to see your smile am i someone else (you're always gonna be yourself) am i somewhere else (you're never gonna leave yourself) sometimes it feels like (nothing's real anyway) at any moment (everything could fade away) i wanna see my friends (i wanna see myself erased) but i never get the chance (filling up with empty space) will what i'm doing now (in ten years carry any weight) can i do something else let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about god let's not talk about god let's talk about

what if this is love i'm feeling and you're romantically appealing doesn't matter, i'd love to see you anyway i lost my breath closing your door cause all i want's to know you more can we get together? your heart's what i've been living for i couldn't move couldn't do anything without you except for wanting to have fun and not knowing how to i'll say love a lot and pretend that i've known its graces but you can tell the liars by the looks upon their faces it's always been lust to which kingdoms fell but only a cynic could think other souls are hell ignoring the love that in us does dwell a piece of gold inside a conscious ossified nothing can ever satisfy the gaping hole in the loveless and petrified like the purple touch of the cast aside by friends they are deplumed colliding in their rooms a fumbling conversational neophyte stumbling blind from your halo of neon light like a moth to a lamp in the dead of night all that it could do is draw me close to you the wind comes to snap power lines and topple trees oh come on, destroy the scenery what am i waiting for? what am i waiting for? when the tide wash me up when the tide wash me up when the tide wash me up when the tide wash me up

hey its been a long time since we talked i just want to clear the air and express i guess how i feel um about you in particular (you in particular) i've been looking for the words for a while but it doesn't seem like they'll be coming anytime soon so maybe once i have stated my case you can take your hands off my neck sometimes i wish i were somewhere else and sometimes i wish i were right at home with you everybody wants to be loved and if they don't they're not being true that's just the way that we are made from the dust of the earth and the light of the stars and i can see the shine from you whenever i look i do you know that i love you i do you know that i love you i do (yes i do) you know (do you know) that i love you i go on (living) and i try (all the time) cause i love you when you come into my house take off your shoes take off your jacket take off your hat i am sorry for the dust that hangs around sometimes it makes a heavy cloud and holds me down every little piece of media on the tv screen or in a book told me love was something everybody needs but they forgot to tell me how to take it or help me learn how not to break it or how to tell you that i don't want to forsake it without you i never saw a blue sky til the day you came into my life i saw your face and never saw another like no other i do you know that i love you i do you know that i love you i do you know that i love you i do i do you know that i love you i do you know that i love you i do you know that i love love love i love you i love you i love you i ah yaaaaaaaa

falling asleep at my desk again waiting on today to end so it can just be you and me with no bodies, our souls are free when you smile is there something behind it or is it just unreal? 'cause when i smile its not insincere, just not everything i feel when i think about being with you i can't touch the ground so if you ever want to see me that's why i'm not around we hate our bodies (we hate our minds) there's never time (to sit and whine) i'll make this short (my words are light) you gotta know its you (it's you i like) do you still want to see north carolina cause i'd still love to i'll make time take a vacation no exasperation just feelin' fine i want to see you bathed in sunlight natural halo your glow looks right and its just a dream now but that's alright i might not ask you i might we hate our bodies there's never time i'll make this short you gotta know its you it's you i like we hate our bodies (we hate our minds) there's never time (to sit and whine) i'll make this short (my words are light) you gotta know its you (it's you i like)

i've had this old house for a while but its fallen into disrepair over time because i don't maintain and upkeep i don't consider it to be worth my time and energy to keep it clean and i showed you the house you went out and bought paint and nails and a broom and mop we went through the house and swept out the cobwebs painted the rooms in new colors and fixed the holes in the walls the most important step to fix the house was repainting the outside and cutting the lawn so that it matched what was living and breathing and spending time with friends on the inside i like you cause you could see there was something worthwhile in that old wreck of a house you saw it because you had a house of your own and you did a great job of fixing up yours now when i'm in the halls or the kitchen or reading or watching tv or doing yard work or something i see what we've done together, what you did for me and i'm reminded of how much i like to spend my time with you and i wanted to ask whenever you're available or whenever you want to if you wanted to come by and we could just be us together and alone for a while

dreamin of life performing on the road playing music, never getting old a siren with a voice like a harp of gold puking backstage with my head in a toilet bowl little girl right at home with the big ones little girl writing songs about her feelings little girl little girl hiding my soul inside my every word to make sure my truth is never ever heard except for by a bored fan with too much free time and a passion for dissecting each and every line little girl right at home with the big ones little girl writing songs about her feelings little girl little girl little girl right at home with the big ones little girl writing songs about her feelings little girl little girl

she come down with a microphone as a wand to spellbind the world guitar is her arcane focus through which she channels the earth no tremble or stumble as she takes her place on the stage through the power of music, baby, she'll take you to a new age there i am in my flying colors, conducting the crowd no such thing as too crazy today and no such thing as too loud i'd play so great that heaven would hear me and the sky would swallow me up but i can never reach it, yea, cause every time i wake up i could stay there a million years but every time i wake up

come late, out of my car my house is so damn far i'm at the party some of my friends are here other people are also here i'm at the party someone takes out a beer do they know that i'm queer i'm at the party i see the sun go down i only hang around i'm at the party i just want to be where my friends are right now everybody's feelin' alright alright now i will not remember tonight tonight now and my chest is feeling so tight so tight now i can't find my damn friends this night just never ends i'm at the party someone takes the last beer why the fuck am i here this is a party they're getting trashed tonight can you just stand upright this is a party i wish i never came 'cause every one's the same i cannot party i just wish i knew where my friends are right now (you came here of your free will) i just want to feel alright alright now (you know it's only your fault) i will not remember tonight tonight now (why can't you chill the fuck out) and my head is feeling so light so light now (why can't you calm the fuck down)

try to have fun but i i am sorry but i i cant have fun right now waited for months and spent four hundred on a suit just to sit here alone i shouldn't have come but i guess it can't be helped it's too late now the floor is so big and there is room for me but i can't stand up i can't dance with a friend there is room for us but i fear the touch you deserve someone better not some pasty fat fuckup someone you love don't say it's okay i know it's not okay i fucked up and i can see it in your eyes i'm ruining your night don't lie what kind of friend am i to hide from your eyes when i asked you here cried in the bathroom cried at our table why the fuck am i here your date is a failure, all she wants is to disappear and not to hurt you don't say it's okay i know it's not okay i fucked up and i can see it in your eyes i'm ruining your night don't lie leave me alone stay far away i'm just a let down i'm not okay all i ever do is hurt the ones i love

i always wondered how it would feel to live without a name can i lose my own identity even for a day turns out yes i can and now i drift along and pray that one day i can get it back, don't want to disassociate napoleon isn't half as short as the british say he is it's just propaganda though i gotta hand it to them cause now everyone thinks he's a dwarf instead of somewhat tall goes to show that other people's words can make you feel so small hey can you see me am i here at all what's the point of being human when i cannot be what i want to see as a kid i just thought i was a body and now i am queer this word is my home and we've got to be okay and know that (i've got something to get off my chest and something to put on a cute skirt and a tank top i'm gonna blossom like a swan) you can't tell me what to do "Now the earth was formless and empty; darkness was over the surface of the deep and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters." and when god heard what we were doing he wept for the state of his creation so he sent forth the rains to slaughter every soul in the nation he said "noah yes i promise to never wipe out all of you again" every zealot who thinks they're so righteous wishes they could be on that boat with him although a nuke could be just as holy it's a just war; it's just a war; it's just murder, just the truth who gave you the right to trample everyone who isn't you? "there's no problem in killing a heathen" says the crusader war hawk on the floor "since through the bible god tells us: 'for god loveth not transgressors'" stop and reconsider where's the golden rule you held aloft in youth? do you really think you get to decide what exactly is god's truth? when that war you launched on half the world returns to you and knocks down your door maybe you will start to wonder just how much death is worth is there any truth in this godforsaken place that i call home? is there any help for a child who doesn't want to be alone? when did growing up become a chore instead of a dream? the moment i could understand that even god is mean

thought i was more than friends to you you meant more than that meant more than that to me and i hoped you would feel the same way guess it wasn't meant to be now i look like an idiot for chasing a ghost heart, ghost heart i thought it was mine, i thought when i looked your eyes there was something there's never a cure for the way that i feel after starting to learn that my hopes were unreal i knew it all along, didn't want to accept it i'm mad at myself, i'm the one of us who kept it alive, it was me i deluded myself into believing you could want something crude as myself i can't force my god damn feelings onto you i spent all this time; what fucking good did it do? but i'm done wasting my time (i am taking my time) done wasting my time (taking my time) with you i am taking my time taking my time with you

i woke up today from a dream i've been living in felt no weight on my chest and i knew i was finished so i carried on knowing we were both livin' even though you never knew i felt like i'd been forgiven something changed in my heart guess that fire got put out i never tried that much it seems my love was not devout so i carried on like some Kerouac character you were my Neal Cassady once in a blue moon, you were close enough to touch there's nothing wrong with "friends" i think i've learned "friends" is enough love was a fruitless venture healthier to just give up it was cruel of me to always dream of having you all along in my head i guess i knew [Simon Lane: There's a lesson to be learned here, ladies and gents: if you love someone - if you love someone, let them know.]